A Milkshake for “Difficult Times”

Working with the public under normal circumstances can be stressful, but working with the public during a pandemic is stressful every minute of every day if you understand just how contagious the novel coronavirus is. I’m still having some asthma issues from the pneumonia I had almost a year ago, and then the smoke from all the summer fires. And even if I’m fortunate enough get an asymptomatic case, I don’t want to risk infecting others who may not be so lucky. So now I drink more frequently after work than I used to just to calm down(and disinfect?). Is this a healthy response? No, no it is not. But desperate times call for desperate measures. If I live long enough to suffer the consequences of drinking more frequently, cool. So in case you too could use a little unhealthy stress relief, here is a milkshake I made once after a particularly stressful day.

Bottle of Screwball whiskey, fancy milkshake with whipped cream and sprinkles, one funsize Butterfinger, carton of vanilla ice cream, and a can of whipped cream on a counter.

1 fun size Butterfinger candy bar

1 shot of Screwball peanut butter whiskey(2 if your tolerance for alcohol is higher)

2 scoops of vanilla ice cream

1/2 cup of milk(or 3 shots if you don’t have a measuring cup)

whipped cream and sprinkles if you’re feeling fancy

If you have a blender, put all ingredients except for whipped cream and sprinkles in and blend until smooth. If you don’t have a blender, put the ingredients in a sturdy cup and work out your frustration by jabbing it with a spoon until it is thin enough to drink. Or eat it with the spoon, your call. If the consistency is too thin, you can add a little more ice cream or some ice cubes. Voila. You have a sugar rush that should also take the edge off of your anxiety. Now go watch some Scooby Doo or something.

Being Thankful During the Pandemic

Some days it’s hard to be thankful in the midst of a pandemic, even when you know objectively that there is a lot to be thankful for. I am still employed, I have a great boyfriend, and so far I’m still physically healthy. Mentally not so much with the healthy, but that’s 2020 for you I guess. I still have my cat, who is both the best, and a little shit(but that’s cats for you). Despite a stressful week of waiting for results, the election ended well, and I’m finally proud of the choices my home state made. I had a short story published at a nearly professional pay rate, and a few art commissions too, so that part of my life is progressing.

She was so comfy she let me hold her little paw.

My Thanksgiving will be just me, the boyfriend, and Zoom this year. It’s a little disappointing, but I’m thankful that my immediate family is healthy, and I want them to stay that way. I’m thankful for my amazing friends, who so far have managed to stay healthy as well. They help keep the hopelessness at bay, and they always make me laugh. I’m thankful for my co-workers, who are all good, kind people. They take the pandemic seriously and follow the safety precautions at work pretty closely. I am thankful for my employees, who are all great workers, good people, and the envy of many other libraries(seriously, other libraries are trying to lure them away, but they like me too much). I am thankful for my gaming groups, especially the Sunday group of old college friends where no topic is taboo, and nothing is too ridiculous to add to the story. I’m thankful for all the dumb Facebook groups I’ve joined for the funny memes. I’m thankful for my support group, and the group text we share for real talk and understanding. And I am thankful for my boyfriend, who is always there to help with chores, take care of me when I have a migraine, and feed me when I am hangry. He’s a weird guy, but it’s almost the same kind of weird as me.

A socially distanced gathering in a park with my best bitches to beat the shit out of a coronavirus piñatas. It was cathartic, highly recommend. Also fill it with tiny bottles of booze, candy, plastic dinosaurs, and other silly things.

I am thankful for tofurkey, and whipped cream in my coffee this morning, and Zoom and Google Meet. I am thankful for all the library audiobooks I have been binging since even before the pandemic. I am thankful for cartoons that help me relax after work, and wine, which also helps me relax after work. I am thankful that all the medications I need are available and affordable because I have health insurance.

I hope you have as much and more to be thankful for. Stay safe, stay home, wear a mask if you go out, and wash your hands like Lady Macbeth and maybe we’ll see eachother when things are better.

The tofurkey wasn’t done yet, but the zucchini, sweet potatoes, and green bean casserole were, and I was hungry. So I ate them first.