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Tag Archives: library

Because I work in a library, these may never stop coming.

 
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Shalala, don’t stop now, don’t try to hide it, how you want to… KISS THE EARL!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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#SexyMistakes!  Ok, not gonna lie, this is both ridiculous and awesome.  I might actually read this at some point.  I’d also kinda like to feel the need to use that hashtag at some point in my life.  Seems like an important mistake to make at least once in your life…

 

 

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Why this one?  Because it reminds me of my friends, that’s why.

 

 

 

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Once again, I’m twelve.  And this book is called Mocha Dick.  Haha, dick.

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Honestly, I think it’s that earnest, adoring look on the lady’s face, combined with the pensive, confused look on the guy’s face.  And somehow I think this is supposed to be a romance?  I dunno, confusion isn’t super romantic for me.  And neither are Amish beards while we’re at it.20160107_175624

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What?! You’re giving it away Macbeth, quit tweeting about your murder plot!  And hashtags, srsly?  lol

 

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Adorable, but deadly.  Look at his little face!  Just look at it!  I’d be super dead.

 

 

 

 

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It’s a chihuahua in a tiny sailor outfit driving a boat!  Can you stand it?!  And his name is Pepe!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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I’m not actually surprised that this book exists.  Indeed, by all rights, it belongs in this world more than I do.  Mostly I’m just super entertained that my library system carries copies(plural) of it.  This is amazing.  Such times we live in that you can go to your public library and pick up a book of Star Trek alien philosophy on war.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But what deserves to exist even more than the Klingon Art of War book?  The scratch and sniff wine book of course!  I leafed through it, and yes, I sniffed. It describes in detail many types of wine and how to tell them apart by appearance and by smell.   Such a combination of sophisticated connoisseur and childish glee may never have existed in book form until now, and my library owns copies.  You’re welcome.  I would have checked this out if a co-worker hadn’t beaten me to it.

 

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Working in a library is not the boring experience that the media makes you think it is.  I only hush people when they’re being really obnoxious, like talking loud enough on their phone that I know all about their colon problems.  I do just as much computer help as I do book help; I get to have conversations with hilarious 4-year-olds; I’ve had to explain that stringing a tight-rope between library building supports is not allowed; I’ve had to say the words “so, I understand you were watching videos of the female genitalia in the presence of minors;” and I’ve been threatened with bodily harm by large, angry motorcyclists.  My stories aren’t even the crazy ones.  A lot of my librarian friends have crazier ones.  Not that every single day is exciting, but it’s way more interesting than most people realize, which is one of the reasons I enjoy my job.  I hate being bored.

However, when something crazy is going down, I don’t usually get pictures.  I DO take pictures when books are returned with unusual bookmarks.  Plane tickets, receipts, toilet paper, birthday cards, and personal p20151204_125527hotographs are not that uncommon.  I’ve seen actual food more than once(which seriously damages the book, btw, don’t do it).  I found 10 Euros once, and another time had to call someone because their child support check was left in a book.  But again, I don’t have pictures of those.  Here are the pictures I do have:  A rubber witch finger in a children’s non-fiction book about zombies, and a hair pick, for some reason.

 

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This one here is the absolute winner though.  It’s a huge coffee table book about World War 2.  The bookmark is an expired lunch coupon for a local strip club with a sticky note that has a20150806_120509 girl’s name, phone number, and “home goodz” scrawled on it.  You’re welcome?