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Working in a library is not the boring experience that the media makes you think it is.  I only hush people when they’re being really obnoxious, like talking loud enough on their phone that I know all about their colon problems.  I do just as much computer help as I do book help; I get to have conversations with hilarious 4-year-olds; I’ve had to explain that stringing a tight-rope between library building supports is not allowed; I’ve had to say the words “so, I understand you were watching videos of the female genitalia in the presence of minors;” and I’ve been threatened with bodily harm by large, angry motorcyclists.  My stories aren’t even the crazy ones.  A lot of my librarian friends have crazier ones.  Not that every single day is exciting, but it’s way more interesting than most people realize, which is one of the reasons I enjoy my job.  I hate being bored.

However, when something crazy is going down, I don’t usually get pictures.  I DO take pictures when books are returned with unusual bookmarks.  Plane tickets, receipts, toilet paper, birthday cards, and personal p20151204_125527hotographs are not that uncommon.  I’ve seen actual food more than once(which seriously damages the book, btw, don’t do it).  I found 10 Euros once, and another time had to call someone because their child support check was left in a book.  But again, I don’t have pictures of those.  Here are the pictures I do have:  A rubber witch finger in a children’s non-fiction book about zombies, and a hair pick, for some reason.



This one here is the absolute winner though.  It’s a huge coffee table book about World War 2.  The bookmark is an expired lunch coupon for a local strip club with a sticky note that has a20150806_120509 girl’s name, phone number, and “home goodz” scrawled on it.  You’re welcome?




  1. THIS IS JUST BRILLIANT. Thank you for posting. Great start to my day. Bronte ps I always wanted to be a librarian!

    • vegetarianninjalibrarian
    • Posted April 13, 2016 at 8:07 am
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    • Reply

    Thanks for reading! And if you want to be a librarian, you still can… we haven’t closed the club yet! 😉

  2. Oh man, this kind of grosses me out. What else do they put in those books!? xD

      • vegetarianninjalibrarian
      • Posted November 25, 2016 at 6:28 pm
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      • Reply

      Aw Darcy, I don’t judge you for eating meat, etc. I’m pro-choice too, actually, but I hate when people say they’re “pro-life” when all they really are is pro-birth. Pro-life is a misnomer, and I think they should be honest with themselves about what they really support, especially since there are single issue voters out there who picked You-Know-Who because he said he was pro-life, ignoring all the other crimes against humanity he was for. And I’m sorry you have to reconcile your love with your values. That’s a difficult position to be in. Life is a spectrum, and I think seeing the shades of grey means you are thoughtful enough to re-examine your values and consider other points of view rather than blindly follow. That’s a good thing. Hugs!

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